By Shashanna Orellano, MM, MT-BC
Happy Memorial Day! A day off, a celebration of the start of summer, sales and discounts, barbecue, beach, adult beverages. These are the associations we civilians have of Memorial Day. But, for Veterans, Memorial Day often means something very different. Surprisingly, fewer than 1% of Americans serve in the military. As such, many Americans don’t stop to think about the true meaning behind Memorial Day. Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day have come to almost be synonymous by stores wanting to attract customers. But Veteran’s Day is a celebration of the sacrifice living men and women make serving in the United States Armed Forces. Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice- by laying down their lives in the line of duty. Though it is not exactly their holiday, for many Veterans left behind, Memorial Day is really not a happy holiday- it can be a day of pain and sadness remembering the death of friends, family and comrades in arms, guilt and shame over past tragedies that cannot be undone, anxiety, anger, frustration, flashbacks, nightmares, increased PTSD symptoms and isolation. Many Veterans find themselves seeking out help by calling crisis lines, going to crisis centers or being admitted to psychiatric facilities when symptoms become too overwhelming. With the crisis of suicides in the military and Veteran populations, extra vigilance is especially important around this time of year and wishing a Gold Star family, family of a fallen service member killed in the line of duty, a “happy” Memorial Day might be insensitive.
If you have patients who served, friends or family who wore our nation’s uniforms or know people who have lost a service member, reach out to them on Memorial Day. Check in to see if they are coping. Help them grieve, give them the space to talk about their losses if they want to, support them. As music therapists, we are uniquely suited to help our patients on Memorial Day. Music can help validate and comfort, give space to process difficult emotions, and support rituals of remembrance. Music can help our patients relax when stress surrounding the holiday becomes overwhelming. And music can help lift the spirits and provide something positive on a difficult day. I am not suggesting we civilians shouldn’t enjoy Memorial Day with friends and family. As Veteran hip hop artist Soldier Hard says “We have come too far to turn back. We owe it to ourselves to live again. Yet, we owe it to our fallen comrades. Let us live life for them..in their honor.”